"I don't like needles and I don't like surprises so I think I'll just hold back and stick to my guns." - Joey regarding getting tested.
"I was drawing you and it turned into a bum." - Jess
"Open up cum fartin' bitches." - Todd talking to his DVD player.
"Dino breath." - Joey
"Is this a legitimate bed?" - Jess
"This is the first time kissing in Sam Burnstings office." - Jess
"My car smells like booze thanks to you."
"I can't wait for Daily Quote #666. We have to make it super rad."- Joey
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