"So last night, I had a dream I was having sex w/ a vampire, and like, it was reeeally good sex, but then he called me fat because I couldn't fit through a window. It was really weird." - Heidi
"You probably have like, nine STDs. But so do I probably." - Kelly
"All I want is meat-balls and 40z man! That's all I need man! That's all!" - Scott
Cop: Why you skatin' down the middle of the street?
Scott: There's cracks in the sidewalk.
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