Daily quote #499

"Do you know I hate you?" - Kelsey

"I need a new word to replace 'asshole' for you. You've heard it so many times it doesn't affect you." - Kelsey

"God you're such an asshole." - Kelsey

Daily quote #498

"I was reading yesterdays quotes and I was wondering if you get with every girl you hang out with?" - Morgen in reference to daily quote #497

"When I first met you I thought you were an asshole stoner. Now I just think you're an asshole." - Amber

"Shit, I'd fuck a seagull. I mean, fuck, you'd do it too. You're stranded at sea, ain't nobody gunna find out." - Scott

Me: Scott I think you're an alcoholic. I think you might have a problem.
Scott: No way, I can quit at anytime.

"I believe that if you're in America, you have NO REASON to spell color as colour." - Billy

Daily quote #497

"Big Bear and King Cobra, pretty much anything animal named is cheap and

dope. If it's named after a natural disaster it's good too." - Billy regarding cheap beer.

"I'm going to get you a bunch of [Little] Caesars napkins from work so next time you're w/ a girl you can cum in the napkins and go out in style." - Scott

"You'll smuggle weed for me? You're a true friend man." - Scott

"They [China] can make my plastic forks, my cheap lighters, my gas station novelty toys, and WalMart, but not my beer." - Billy

"I'm so happy this conversation isn't recorded." - Kelly regarding some shit that shouldn't be recorded.

Me: What are you doing tonight?
Scott: Selling weed. You?

Me: When are you starting college?
Scott: I'm not unless you are.
Me: I'm not. Haha.
Scott: ight then.

Daily quote #496

"Yeah, I've noticed you don't hold back on your daily quotes; That's part of what makes them great I think." - Father Bear

"I missed my Astro Van Man." - Heidi with her teeth clenched.

"Have you been tanning? Your legs look African." - Heidi

"Quote me right or don't quote me at all!" - Heidi

"Check this out, I learned how to burp on command." - Heidi

"I'm thinking about getting baptized again because I've been saying some really mean things about people." - Heidi

Daily quote #495

"You just look like you smoke pot because you skateboard and you're trashy." - Whitney

"I drank three beers last night at Famous Dave's. One for Beth, one for you, and one for me. Yours was first. I chugged it." - Michele

"Quit being serious." - Whitney

"I'm going to buy you a nipple to drink out of." - Whitney

"Get water if you're thirsty, you'll stay drunk longer that way too." - Billy

Daily quote #494

"Yo, it's my birthday!" - Dave

"You're a nutcase!" - Dave

"You're a god damn liar." - Dave

"Thanks for denying me on life." - Whitney

"This is $12.99 so put it on the 'Kill Yourself' rack." - Beth

Daily quote #493

"Oh that's cute! [Looking at my skateboard tattoo] ..and, are you listening to Tupac? Awww sheeeit." - Girl working at Taco Bell

"Oh man, Beth is going to yell at this kid so much tonight." - Michele

"I'm going to have to yell at this new kid so much tonight." - Beth inregards to a new-hire at work.

"Friday is going to be filled with skateboarding, strippers, and booze." - Dave

Daily quote #492

"Are you aware the photographer just slept w/ the model?" - Whitney

"I'm not trying to get my balls tickled by Uncle Ball Toucher." - Dave

"Wouldn't that be awesome if you had a vagina on your hand so you can please yourself whenever?" - Whitney

"Are you coming onto me for more Boone's Farm? Geeze." - Dave

"*Snort*" - Whitney

"Betchya won't quote it!" - Dave

"Shane stressed me out and I'm not even dating the kid." - Dave

"Thugs have to learn their lesson when they're not thugs." - Dave

"I almost fought a dad at the skatepark." - Anonymous

"Everyone thinks I'm a sleeze because of you. ... I am though." - Dave

"I'm under-construction in the downstair area." - Whitney

"We can only hope to bas great as Matt K one day. You remember what happened last time I tried juggling ho's?" - Scott

"You have good legs for a guy." - Kelly

"I just woke up and went to go pee and it just all came out. Like, poooured, like a fetus and something." - Heidi

Daily quote #491

"Oh yeah, and the condom you left in my front yard? Nice touch." - Scott

"Next time I drink at a party I'm bringing duct tape." - Billy

"Lots of people talk about abortions too in these things." - Morgen referring to the Daily Quote.

"You inspired him? Haha. Do you get a lot of girls pregnant?" - Morgen in reference to daily quote #470

"Bum buduh da." - Billy

"I'm living w/ the 'What would Jake Phelps do?' mind set right now." - Billy

Daily quote #490

*Kelly knocking*
Me: Password?
Kelly: Sugar-free Grape Frosting.

"You should pull a Nancy Kerrigan when he walks back past. *whacking sound*" - Beth

"Justin, do not look at me or talk to me for the rest of the night!" - Kelly

"I don't know what was weirder; Me punching you or me stroking you." - Heidi

"You smell like skank." - Sister Bear

Daily quote #489

"*Pathetic attempts at whistling*" - Taryn

"Joey's a bitch." - Scott

"She just ruined her tits, they were nice, but now they're ruined. You can quote that too." - Scott

"Dicks dick dicks. Put 'em in my mouth." - Dave's roommate

Daily quote #488

"I wish I had your hand writing." - Kelly

"You smell like ghetto." - Kelly

"You're either super high or still drunk." - Kelly the second I walk into work.

"Hey, I saw you at the liquor store the other night." - Sara working at Citgo

"Who knew I'd find my true love at a grocery store." - Jen

"Get arrested tonight." - Jen regarding our last night in Long Beach.

"Oh man, I had sex last night and I think my back is fucked again." - Lauren

"Justin your ruined my life." - Kelly

"Were you getting dome in that picture?" - Scott

"Are you two skateboard professionals?" - Random lady on our flight

Me: Isn't she a virgin?
Scott: Who gives a fuck? Josh does it all the time.

"Fly safe ass. I didn't want to say it on the phone, it sounds gay. Don't piss off anyone wearing a turban and don't fuck w/ the people that make your food." - Melanie

"OJ [Simpson] will hit a bitch." - Scott

"I'm more that bitch's nigga than you." - Scott to Joey.

"You smell like skank." - Dave

Daily quote #487

"If you're going to be a dick, you can't be a pussy." - David

"I gotta get to the Secretary of State to get my hustle on." - David

"So the plan was to fuck her and turn her into a stripper and ruin her life." - David

Daily quote #486

"So I went tanning and my boobs and butt are really burnt and I can't wear a bra so my boobs look really weird and flat." - Kelly

"Did you come back more of an asshole?" - Michele

"Super Cock Block to Sweat Master General." - Dave

"He texts 911, not calls 911." - Dave

"I feel like I smoked weed that was laced w/ coke." - Taylor

"Justin, I barely know you and I'm wasted at your house." - Taylor

"Smirnoff is really good because I cannot feel my fingers." - Taylor

"I'll kick you in the 2 o'clock." - Dave

Anonymous: I have no problem stealing $1000 of merchandise from work a week.
Me: Can I quote that?
Anonymous: No.
Me: Anonymous?
Anoymous: Yeah.

"Yeah? That's what you're wearing?" - Scott while on the phone w/ some skaaaaank.

"Do you know how much fun flying is while drunk?!" - Dave

Taylor: So wait, you got all your stuff in one duffle bag?
Scott: My life.
Me: You're really planning on not coming back [from California are you]?
Scott: I might not.

Daily quote #485

"I missed the hell out of you while you were in California [in 2007] but I was so proud that you were actually happy out there, more so than it seems when you're here [in Michigan]." - Father Bear

Daily quote #484

"Have a safe flight you old man." - Father Bear

"Lets commit felonies before we leave." - Scott

"Lets get helmets." - Scott

"Lets get arrested in LA." - Scott

"You smell like a skank." - Someone to someone.


NOTE: This will be the last Daily Quote until Monday when we return from California.

Daily quote #483

"She scared of dick. For real!" - Scott

"I've been on the biggest blow it out your ass trip." - Scott

"The big just wanted to get a nut. It was just watching us pee." - Heidi

"Are you wearing eye shadow? Your eyes look really pretty today." - Heidi

"I'm not in the quoting mood." - Kelly

Daily quote #482

"You better not quote me from last night." - Erin

"It'll be like you're peeing in two different days at once." - Jessica in reference to me peeing at midnight.

"I like how I have four bobby-pins out of seventy." - Erin

"You can quote me; I didn't say anything racy." - Erin

"I thought this ground was smooth." - Tanner regarding a Flint skatespot.

"It never hurts to have extra [finger] prints on a gun." - Scott

Daily quote #481

Scott: I didn't step on his [Chopper's/Scott's Dog] balls.
Josh: No, but you toe fucked his asshole.

"You're pregnant, you can't drink." - Scott to his dog.

"Coffee? Man, you so old right now." - Scott

"She's right." - Beth regarding Amber's quote below.

"You're the dickest guy I know." - Amber

"I'm up but I'm totally down." - Dave

"Bitches love stars." - Erin

"Maaaaan you're cheap." - Guy at the gas station as I carry up four 40ozs of PBR.

"You write like a girl!" - Katie

Daily quote #480

"I smell weird." - Katie

"Will you please just take me to the back and cut up my arms w/ a box cutter?" - Heidi

"I'm getting so mad and my boobs keep getting bigger." - Heidi

"If I die in a tornado, just know that I love you. .... .. Say it back!" - Kelly

"It smells like rain." - Kelly standing outside while it was raining.

"You could be a drug dealer and your cover could be photography, but you can do real photography too. Like in the show Weeds, but not a bakery." - Kelly

"Ain't no party like a Flint town party cause a Flint town party don't stop!!!" - Dom

Daily quote #479

"TJ is pissed at you. The ex-boyfriend is pissed at you. I don't know, people just keep getting pissed at you." - Erin

"You can walk further when you're drunk." - Guy at the gas station

"Justin you just look better in shorts. You should wear them all the time, even in the winter." - Kelly

"You're not going to get employee of the month w/ that attitude Justin." - Kelly

"Your rocks are on fire." - Dave