Daily quote #549

"I hope you get herpes." - Taryn

"Tell Scott I said fuck off." - Beth

Me: How do you know Ground's (a ground hog) cousin is a he?
Donna: Aren't all ground hogs guys?

"Scott and yours double survey was amazing." - Joey

"Pull your pussy out, I'll lick it like marathon." - Scott

"There go my tooth. Let me get up and check my shit. Out my way bitch, I just chipped my tooth.. .. .. I need a dentist.." - Scott

"Ima cry... qUOTE nigga . Donavon? Tampon wearin' ass nigga." - Scott (NOTE: I was drunk when I typed this and I have no idea what it's about or suppose to say.)

"Lemme get some Hol'e Mol'e and a dick punch dude." - Scott

"He fuckin' wid a nigga that love L.A. and L.A. niggas don't play." - Scott

Me: Is that a cop?
Scott: Nah.
Me: Dude, that's a cop. You're my DD?
Scott: Yeah, I'm your DD, I've only had three beers [as he puts his 40oz in the back seat].
*Cops stop riding our ass (after he blows through a stop sign) and turns around.*
Scott: Who's your DD? Yeah, that me.

"Who's going to be the first go pro and donate plasma and chug a beer?" - Justin

Moreese: Yo, you want any?
Me: Pills? Nah, I'm good. Thanks though man.
Moreese: Nah, thank you for advertising to the world.
Me: My bad.

Daily quote #548

Me: I'll be back tomorrow.
Father Bear: Ok, come earlier enough and bring some beer.

"Hey, I just realized; I haven't drank in a few days, and I haven't seen you in a few days either. What do you know?" - Donna

Me: Hi, I'm dumb.
Donna: Hi, I'm weird.

"I named my moped, Moped." - Donna

"What do you know? Here we are again, I barely know you and we're both drunk again." - Taylor

"Skinny pale white boy." - Kelly

"Shit nigga, the grass grow green? Fuck yeah it does, so yeah, you want another beer." - Scott

"Obama gunna' become president and just start freestylin' on the mic." - Pat

"That's the new thing to do. Donate plasma and go buy beer w/ the money." - Justin

"Ima bout to slang this dick to this bitch." - Roy

"Whatever makes you happy. If this [shooting photographs in downtown Flint] makes you happy, then great. I figured you'd want to do something that makes lots of money, but I guess it isn't about the money to you." - Mother Bear

Daily quote #547

"You're not funny. You are mean." - Kelly

"You are an ass." - Kelly

"Hello asshole." - Taryn (NOTE: That's the first thing she said to me when she walked in.)

"They should make blanket hoodies." - Customer in my store.

"So do you have a girlfriend yet? Oh wait." - Beth

"I've been banned from alpena county!" - Lauren

Me: How long you have them boxers on man?
Scott: I don't know. Six months. I'm on a mission! I'll get rid of 'em when the elastic blows out.

"If I had bumps on my dick I'd laugh." - Scott

Daily quote #546

"How you gunna freestyle w/ a chorus? This nigga freestylein' w/ a chorus! Woooow!" - Scott regarding Freddy B.

"I'll ketchup like a hotdog." - Scott

"I like your common people photos. You got talent, now you just have to learn to love JJ Langs." April (NOTE: JJ Langs is the most trashyest please I've ever been in and I won't step another foot in there again. Sorry sister.)

"Ill drink it down for you brah." - Billy

"Nicholi really wasn't that bad." - Taylor

"We can be friends in real life right?" - Kelly

Daily quote #545

"Have I ever told you that despite your faults, you really are quite an amazing guy?" - Erin/Ohio

"For once you're bummed about something other than CA. Maybe I should drink to celebrate." - Erin/Ohio

"Slut." - Kelly.

"You should have been wasted 6 minutes ago." - Erin/Ohio at 11:50pm

"You smell good, like you just bathed in beer." - Whitney

Whitney: Atleast tell me one reassuring thing to make me sleep in my own room.
Me: Bitch, go to bed.
Whitney: You're an asshole.

"I colored my tattoo today." - Whitney

Me: I was selling surf shirts when you called, for a company to have kids wear that have never seen a surf.
Tanner: Yeah man I feel ya, I sell books to people who dont know how to read.

"Dude I think its awesome the time of day you give to people down in Flint. That's just some straight up shit. Its nice to see, honestly." - Damon

"Stop having sex, because I know you are right now." - Kelly sent via text message.

Daily quote #544

"Float out to sea Captain!" - Dave as he throws a Captain Morgan bottle into the Flint river.

"You should change your voicemail message to 'Shooting crazy portraits of crazy homeless people.' That'll go over real well." - Tanner

"I'm watching surfing right now. That's cool I guess." - Tanner

"Hello Dumb." - Donna

"You must be pretty popular if everyone wants your bun in their oven." - Michele

Daily quote #543

"What the fuck? Do black people drink this? Do white people even drink this? .. What? It's a legitimate question isn't it?" - Stacie refering to the people at Rally's giving her tea instead of HiC.

"Aren't you black?" - Stacie

"It's a stick, you cheese-head." - Stacie regarding to her car being a stick or automatic.

"How do you think I got so good at it? You have to drink and drive during the day to know how to do it at night." - Scott

"I'm going to the Loft tonight w/ an ichy penis." - Joey

"Quit being a cocky bitch and I'll stop being a cocky asshole." - Scott

Daily quote #542

"I feel pregnant." - Kelly

"You're a really nice guy and I'm glad to hear you're saving your virginity for your wife when you get married, even though I think you'd be really good in bed." - Anonymous

"Are you really as awful as you seem sleazy?" - Donna

"What's up Blue Ribbon?" - Random guy downtown that has seen me three days in a row downtown drinking PBR.

"I had a dream that we got pulled over last night, but I don't remember what for. Oh yeah! We were driving down the railroad tracks." - Scott

"I just wanna do her because she's easy, but like, I want to do her someplace cool, like a counter top. See, you just wanna hump, but me? I wanna do it in exotic locations, like counter tops." - Anonymous

"You shoulda been like, 'Yeah? Well I'm going to jack off to your myspace default!' That's what you should been like." - Scott

"So when I get a shotgun we gotta shoot portraits." - Scott

"I grew up on Highlife and I ain't even grown up yet." - Scott

Me: Wait, what month is it?
Scott: I don't know; I stopped givin' a fuck.

"I wanna double dip. Fuck it. Even triple drip." - Scott

"Quit being a pansy and quote your own damn self." - Donna

"You are silly and awful at texting." - Donna

Daily quote #541

Me: You're fucking gnarly and slutty.
Lauren: I know right? That's what booze will do to you.

"Yo! There's seven cops out front. We need to quite it down a little." - Perry

"Cops out there and I'm talking shit." - Pat

"Yo, them haters are comin'." - Pat in reference to cops trying to bust up a party.

"Hey man, 15 will get you 20." - Justin

"Hey Bobby, if it comes down to it, I think we can take 'em." - Torey regarding fighting cops if they come in the house.

"We should open a bar." - Donna

Daily quote #540

"So I think I have it figure out; I just need to sleep w/ a married man then I can just blackmail him." - Melanie

"Good morning. You're dumb." - Donna

"I got strong sneakers." - Donna

"This is heavenly and we're drinking heaven." - Donna regarding to PBR 40s.

"I just get this really sleezy vibe from you, even w/ mannequin." - Donna

"You're going to get sued." - Scott regarding The Daily Quotes.

"I'm going to have to divorce my step-dog." - Donna

"Our friends are the coolest." - Scott

"Smell these [arm] pits. Betchya won't." - Dave

"My dad found my vibrator." - Anonymous

"Is Scott going to be the best man in your wedding?" - Kelly

"Why? Why do hate me the most? I never did anything to you?" - Kelly

"Did you just say want a tall African American girl?" - Kelly

"We have like five songs." - Kelly

"Nah, I don't like white hip hoppers." - Dom

Daily quote #539

"You're straight up Mr. Rogers." - Taryn

"You're the definition of an asshole." - Kelly

"I have more experience at touching things." - Kelly

"I can't believe I sound like a man sometimes." - Kelly

"You're going to knock my weave out." - Kelly

"Man, I'm tired. Too tired to even beat off. ... Haha, nah man, just kidding." - Scott

Daily quote #538

"I'll fuck you up." - Taryn

"Yo, I smell yallz weed over there." - Random guy downtown

"Tell Kim [part owner of Captive Boardshop] that I quit [the team]. They were nicer to me before I got on." - Joey

"I think something died in my car; It smells so bad. I'll need to find a new place to have sex." - Joey

"Yo, we keep doing this we gunna end up in jail. Beer runs and shit. Next we'll start bringing guns. Hey, The Game made us do it." - Scott

"Justin, have you been tanning? You have haven't you?" - Sam

"Are you two brothers, or cousins?" - Random girl at a party talking to Scott and I right when we walk in.

Daily quote #537

"Yeah, I kicked this girl right in her ass today. She deserved it though because she's a slut. I'd still tear that pussy up though." - Garrett

"I wonder who makes these things up. I want one that says 'there is no god.'" - Garrett regarding the Taco Bell hot sauce packets.

"Whoa, you see her face? She was a total hockey mom." - Joey

"You know those cars parked behind and in front of me? Yeah, I hittem'. Both." - Joey

"I'm peeing in front of Jesus right now... and all his niggas." - Scott while peeing in front of a picture of the Last Supper painting.

"Ima beat the bitch out that bitch." - Scott

Daily quote #536

"I can't decide whether to put you under 'Asshole of the Universe' or keep the original 'Tells' [in my phone]." - Kelsey

"Some people are book smart and some people are common sense smart. You're neither." - Kelly

"You should be a philosopher." - Michele

Me: I don't do dumb things. Ever.
Michele: Morgay? Yeah, that was pretty dumb.

"Don't talk to him; He's annoying, a jerk, and he lies a lot." - Kelly as she's introducing me to the new girl at work.

Whitney: I'm moving. I'm going to miss you.
Me: Mhmmm. Yeah.
Whitney: You don't have to be a dick, you can say 'I'll miss you too.'
Me: Oh, yeah, hah, whoops.
Whitney: You're an asshole

Me: I just got all four 50 Cent's albums.
Joey: Don't even talk to me if you're serious.
Me: No homo.
Joey: Jesus. I thought I knew you at least enough to know you better.

Daily quote #535

"You would really, like really really want to live in California?" - Mother Bear

"They think I'm an alcoholic." - Jean-Marie

"A.) You're a dick. B.) You're still a dick. C.) good idea. And the answer to the 'dick move?'.... see A.)" - Kelly

"Oh and one more thing, if I do, do it, don't think I'll be a Whitney #2." - Kelly in regards to her modeling for one photograph. See Daily Quote #492

"PHOTOGHRAPHERS GET ALL THE PUSSY! DUDE EVEN IF THERE'S NO BATTERIES IN THE CAMERA. CHICKS JUST DIG THE LOOK." - Lenny (NOTE: Lenny always types in capitals.)

"HERE'S THE DEAL NO DRESS, 1 PIC 3 BEERS!." - Lenny regarding a bulletin I had posted about needing a model wearing a dress and me paying them w/ a beer.

"Call me back when you're awake. You're not making words right now." - Melanie

"You can go fucked up. You're twenty-one and when you get in weird situations you get fucked up anyway so it's all good." - Scott

"I'm getting both you guys PBR and condoms for Christmas." - Lisa

"Hey Scott, nice hickey." - Lisa

"What's going to happen if I'm pregnant again?" - Melanie

"Your sister's a douche bag." - Nate

"If it walks, talks, and acts like a ho then it's probably a ho." - Matt K

"You can be a crackhead in a day out here want. You can be a professional skateboarder out here in a year if you want." - Matt K regarding San Francisco.

Anonymous: Just say, 'Are you pregnant or just on crack?
Me: Can I quote that?
Anonymous: Anonymous

Daily quote #534

"You're really promiscuous aren't you? You seem that way from the Daily Quotes." - Donna

"Fuck that, I'd kill myself, and if I was the guy? I'd kill the girl I got pregnant, and then I'd kill myself." - Heidi

"I'm gonna get beat up by this pregnant girl? Oh shit, she ain't gunna do shit. She's pregnant." - Heidi

"I felt it go into my skin; It was real fast." - Kelly

"So I might be late, if you know what I mean." - Melanie (NOTE: It isn't me.)

Me: Are you voting for the Brotha [Obama]?
Lauren: Oh fuck yes; I'm a democrat dumbass.

"Oh dude I'm getting so good at burning kids." - Dave

"I can't wait until one day when we get super drunk and I say I love you." - Melanie

"Them cokeheads get around, check yourself sometime foo', and those crazy bitches? Those girls are for life. they'll stick around." - Kelsey

"What is UP with your bitchass and crazy skanks?" - Kelsey

Daily quote #533

"She ain't go no ass, but damn! She got some tittes! She 18 or 19, or like, somethin' of age." - Scott

Steph: What, you're good at guessing if the baby is going to be a boy or girl?
Me: Naw, just at life. I'm always right.
Steph: Always?
Me: Always, duh.
Steph: You're full of shit Justin

"I think I used to think you were nice." - Beth

Me: I think I'm going to start being nice.
Beth: Oh yeah right. I don't think that's possible.

"I can't wait to get a super scummy apartment w/ you." - Melanie

Daily quote #532

"So the guy I thought I was going to start liking a lot, told me said he loved me. I thought, fuck you just ruined it!" - Melanie

Melanie: I got a speeding ticket for going twenty-three miles an hour.
Me: What was the speed limit?
Melanie: Twenty.

"Sometimes I just want to trade lives w/ you for a day." - Kelly

"Aww... so cute, but such a dick." - Alyssa

"By the way your daily quotes are really starting to make you look bad." - Dave regarding Daily Quote #531

Daily quote #531

"Oh my god, you're a bitch." - Melanie

"Oh my gosh. Are you sober?" - Alyssa

"Why are you always so mean? Oh my gosh, I'm hanging up on you right now. You're a jerk." - Alyssa

"I'll have to give you a rain check on that back rub." - Whitney

"I'm going to stab you bitch." - Kelly

"You can be dope like Jesus!" - Erin

"You're a fucking dick." - Scott

Daily quote #530

"Well, that must be why we get along so well." - Scott regarding one quote below.

"Drunks get along w/ drunks." - My FATHER

"I watched CSI Miami today, and Tony Hawk was murdered." - Tanner

Me: Guess where I'm at?
Melanie: I don't know, some place that gives abortions.

"You're an asshole, and I'm slut so it's alright." - Melanie

"She shouldn't be talking on the phone, if she can't talk and walk at the same time!" - Dave as he almost hits a lady while talking on the phone and crossing the street.

"What? You can't sell a damn kid for beer money!" - Dave

"Sell the kid for beer money." - Joey

"You skateboarder fuck!" - D.D.A. (Downtown Development Authority) NOTE: Yell from one of the Flint river to the other.

"Quote this: Jay Mitch is a fucking pile of shit. God I hate reading his fucking bulletins." - Tanner

"You dun luh deez hoezzzzz." - Taryn

"What a dumb slut." - Lauren

Daily quote #529

"Oh my god, can you quote yourself you dumbass?" - Melanie

"I didn't have a wrench so I got you a pipe clamp." - Joey

"Oh my god! Are those really the napkins Scott gave you? Right beside the bed?! ... You better not use them; I swear to god." - Anonymous

"It's like a dryer in here; It's hot and smells good." - Anonymous

"It was like Quick Draw McGraw and shit." - Scott after trying to run over a bunny in my yard while driving the Tracker.

"Wussup nigaaaaz?!" - Scott as he busts in my house unannounced while we're in bed

"Why do you want to go back to California? What's so great about it?" - Sandra

Daily quote #528

April: What? Did you just do what I think you did? [Regarding daily quoting the quote below.]
Me: Huh? No.
April: What'd I say?
Me: Nuttin'.
Father Bear: What'd you write?
Me: Nuttin'.
April: For real.
Me: Yeah, for real, nuttin'.

"So the boys were outside last night w/ a chain saw. We have no porch light, deck light, and no flash lights. After the chain saw stopped, I heard them w/ an ax." - April

"You wear tie dyed shirts and don't smoke pot?" - Random guy downtown Flint while skateboarding.

"This first time I had Jack [Daniels] I was babysitting." - Jean-Marie

Daily quote #527

"Remember Justin, don't have sexual intercourse tonight." - Kelly

"Bye Devante, I wanna suck your dick." - Anonymous

Me: Why'd you make that face?
Kelly: I'm really tired. Goodbye.

"So that night when I got home after eating those moldy raspberries you gave me? I had the worst diarrhea." - Kelly

Daily quote #526

Me: Did you get all four tires in his yard? [regarding when he hopped a curb in his car and did a lawn job]
Dave: Yeah, you know I don't do anything half stepped.

"Yo, I got that shit in the mail yesterday. My girlie thinks you're a sick fuck; I told her 'no babe, he's an artist with a vision!'" - Lenny regarding the dead cat photo I mailed him.

"Oh sorry dude, was I wildin' out?" - Scott

"Scott isn't black; Does he need a wake-up call?" - Beth

"You going to go home and take your purple drank and eat some chicken and watermelon?" - Beth

"I gotta piss. ... That was kinda manly like." - Beth

"You're smelling extra tuna-ee today Tuna Fish." - Taryn

"She like the Honda Civics of bitches." - Scott

"Just know that I'm not going to your wedding." - Kelly

"Here, these are for you to cum on next time you're fuckin' a bitch." - Scott as he hands me a stack of Little Caesar napkins.

Daily quote #525

"Smell my hair dude, it smells like your mom's pussy." - Scott

"You gunna be all up in PacSun smellin' like niggaz dick!" - Scott

"and what's he trying to be? A Backstreet Boy?"- Scott

"My first beer is going to be fresh and poppin'. Not, yeah I opened this forty-five minutes ago and all shook up riding Alice and shit." - Scott

"I'm just livin' my life; I don't care what I look like during it." - Jean-Maire

"I don't know whether to be depressed or happy that people think I'm just like you." - Jean-Marie

"The first time we high fived it was for a negative pregnancy test." - Erin

"I just put my head down and let the chick cop feel like a big man." - Dave