"So I went tanning and my boobs and butt are really burnt and I can't wear a bra so my boobs look really weird and flat." - Kelly
"Did you come back more of an asshole?" - Michele
"Super Cock Block to Sweat Master General." - Dave
"He texts 911, not calls 911." - Dave
"I feel like I smoked weed that was laced w/ coke." - Taylor
"Justin, I barely know you and I'm wasted at your house." - Taylor
"Smirnoff is really good because I cannot feel my fingers." - Taylor
"I'll kick you in the 2 o'clock." - Dave
Anonymous: I have no problem stealing $1000 of merchandise from work a week.
Me: Can I quote that?
Anonymous: No.
Me: Anonymous?
Anoymous: Yeah.
"Yeah? That's what you're wearing?" - Scott while on the phone w/ some skaaaaank.
"Do you know how much fun flying is while drunk?!" - Dave
Taylor: So wait, you got all your stuff in one duffle bag?
Scott: My life.
Me: You're really planning on not coming back [from California are you]?
Scott: I might not.
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