"You're the last person I'd take advice from." - Jay
"Black people skate pools? Since when?" - Jay
"You scum fuck." - Dave
"I'm tellin' you mega punches dominate any situation especially pregnancies." - Dave
"911 can you please hold?" - 911 Dispatcher as I try to call in a car accident.
"Whatever dude, I don't look special ed." - Scott
"You guys been in California, or just not coming in here?" - Kim at Captive in regards to us not being in their shop much lately.
Me: Son of a bitch!
Scott: What?
Me: I dropped my toothpick!
Scott: There's some Q-Tips in there.
"Tell that bitch to Golden Gate herself." - Scott
"I don't need nor do I want a baby. Especially yours." - Morgan
"Maybe I can pawn my mom's vacuum cleaner. She paid like, 2 Gs for that thing, maybe I can get fifty bucks. I hate it." - Scott
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