"I feel pregnant." - Kelly
"You're a really nice guy and I'm glad to hear you're saving your virginity for your wife when you get married, even though I think you'd be really good in bed." - Anonymous
"Are you really as awful as you seem sleazy?" - Donna
"What's up Blue Ribbon?" - Random guy downtown that has seen me three days in a row downtown drinking PBR.
"I had a dream that we got pulled over last night, but I don't remember what for. Oh yeah! We were driving down the railroad tracks." - Scott
"I just wanna do her because she's easy, but like, I want to do her someplace cool, like a counter top. See, you just wanna hump, but me? I wanna do it in exotic locations, like counter tops." - Anonymous
"You shoulda been like, 'Yeah? Well I'm going to jack off to your myspace default!' That's what you should been like." - Scott
"So when I get a shotgun we gotta shoot portraits." - Scott
"I grew up on Highlife and I ain't even grown up yet." - Scott
Me: Wait, what month is it?
Scott: I don't know; I stopped givin' a fuck.
"I wanna double dip. Fuck it. Even triple drip." - Scott
"Quit being a pansy and quote your own damn self." - Donna
"You are silly and awful at texting." - Donna
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